The poor Dad movie review is about a father who loves movies but usually only gets to watch them at home, on his tiny TV, usually at night while everyone else in the house is asleep.
A quick synopsis about Valhalla rising: In medieval times, a captured slave is made to fight for his life and his owners wealth. He's shared among the tribes as he brings great money to whoever owns him. He has visions of the future and uses them to his advantage. He eventually breaks free and goes on a journey with some "" that they think will take them to the holy land but to their surprise takes them to "hell".
Valhalla rising has a few gory fight scenes and lots and lots of boring, artistic shots added in, just for cool factor. I wish it was the opposite but many times I caught myself nodding off as a lot of the time was spent with not too much going on in the scene. At one point they're adrift at sea and, I get it, you're supposed to feel like you're adrift with them but there does come a point when you just have to move on with the film. As much as I like artistic shots, sometimes you just have to, as MOnty Python would say, get on with it!
Other than that, I was interested to know more about our main protagonist, One-Eye. One-Eye doesn't speak at all in the film but has a young boy who took care of him after his fights do his speaking. I was curious to know more about his past like if he's such a good fighter, then how was he caught? Where did he come from? What happened to his eye? Also, where'd he learn how to fight?
For the most part I was entertained enough to watch it till the end, even though it was late at night and had to fight nodding off. I can't image watching this in a theater and not being able to get up and walk away during the many, many slow parts like I could at home. So overall, I say watch it for the gory fights, then fast forward through till the end. That's the best way to watch this film. You won't miss to much of the story. - Kevshiro