Monday, July 28, 2014

Jump the Gun: The Expendables 3

Jump the Gun is a semi-weekly article where two or more HiddenLevel contributors voice their gut reactions to upcoming movies. Their opinions are based solely on what trailers, press releases, and information is available around the internet, oh, and of course their own personal bias towards the source material. None of the opinions are based on actually having watched the movie. Each reviewer retains the right to change their view after having watched the movie, if they ever bother to do so. After all, who wants to waste their money on a movie that looks like it’s going to suck? Unless you’re into that kind of thing.

(August 15, 2014)

Story: Barney and his team, known as "The Expendables", come into conflict with ruthless arms dealer Conrad Stonebanks, the Expendables' co-founder, who is determined to destroy the team.

Brunpuppies - I really wanted the first two movies to work for me, but they just didn’t.  I assume the actors had a lot of fun getting together to make these “action packed” films, but their fun didn’t translate over for me.  Just having these big name action stars together in one movie doesn’t get me to buy a ticket especially when many of them are past their prime.  Seeing Sly and Arnold in a movie together just reminds me of how awesome a Contra movie starring the two would have been...25 years ago.  Adding Mad Max, Indiana Jones, and Blade to the mix just reinforces the feeling of this being an Over the Hill Action Vehicle.  Although it is nice to see Snipes out of prison.

Verdict - I’m just going to have to pass on this one.  I might check it out if it ends up on Netflix or FX on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
Kevshiro -  Can’t really go by much but his last 2 films were pretty fun to watch.  Yeah, sure it’s a bunch of old men in diapers that used to be action stars but hey, it’s fun to watch them try to jump a moving vehicle and possibly break a femur.  I know, I know, it’s all stunt doubles nowadays.  So let’s play a drinking game of how many times you can spot the doubles!  Ah well, this shit is fun to watch so let’s sit back together, in our home, and see what jail has done to Wesley Snipes.

Verdict - DVD
SolidMike - I’m going to keep this short and sweet, I never seen any of the “Expendables” films and I’m not going to start now.

Verdict - Never


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